It’s occurred to me that the minute I set a goal, problems emerge. The goal itself energizes me and pumps me up, but I have a self-defeating tendency to agonize over the goal’s consequences while rehashing endlessly how closely I’ve met the goal. After I’ve effectively gnashed my teeth into a pulpy mess, I conclude that I must not care about the goal enough to give it the time and attention it needs. I then withdraw to my little hole of self defeat and cease my bout of dreaming.
Why all this drama? I think it comes down to plain ol’ laziness on my part. I’ve started to realize over time that laziness has its rewards. You get to wallow in your agony and complain to whoever will listen about your valiant efforts to be who you are not. This is comforting for a while. People who will indulge your whining help to soften the blow of existence when waking up everyday is a challenge. But in the end…it’s simply not worth it.
