Posted by: smilesmores | February 18, 2010

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” MLK, Jr.

Rawr!!  It’s day three of the Year of the Tiger and the claws are coming out.

“The Eye of the Tiger” blasts nonstop from my speakers, because I need this unabashed anthem of courage to overcome the draw of my own pity party.  Rocky’s theme song is all about the chihuahua of underdogs preparing for battle.  It inspires me to fight for my own happiness.  I may be the campiest and most unlikely beacon of positivity, but dammit I gotta try to be happy.

This blog is my baby step towards a happy-go-lucky personality.  I’m not starting this foray into the land of sunshine and rainbows from ground zero, but things aren’t picture perfect either.  I’m an unemployed, unmarried, officially middle-aged woman, but let me stop there before you start hearing the violins.

Things really aren’t that bad.  And they start getting better from here on out.

There must be something about the Cinderella story that attracts the victim in all of us. I mean, if you have no sob story, then what excuse do you have to be unmarried and living in the basement with your ugly relatives, right?  As a kid, I remember actually praying to have something bad happen to me to justify how I felt, because I feel naturally (genetically, if you will) depressed most of the time.

I got my wish.  Bad stuff has happened to me.  Good stuff has happened to me too in the form of a fairy godfather.  A few years ago, “Mr. Godfather,” a kind stranger with a warm heart and generous spirit, volunteered to fund my training as a yoga teacher.  Honored, my lost soul took his gift as a sign from the heavens above that I was supposed to be healing people through a series of ohms and pretzel-like poses.

It turns out that I’m a bit of a reclusive smart ass with an attitude problem which doesn’t translate well in the yoga world.  I felt like a big phony.  On top of that, I never really thought yoga was that interesting to begin with.  So why the hell did I take on this yoga teacher training?  The truth is, yoga teachers may be boring, stinky, and hairy, but they’re also downright beautiful, inside and out.  This is what I want to be when I grow up…beautiful.

So the question is…how do I get there?


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