Posted by: smilesmores | February 23, 2010

“The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.” Eric Hoffer

Yesterday I ended up swapping sob stories with another unemployed friend.  She’s a sweet, pretty, thirtysomething and has what sounds like an asshole of a boyfriend.  The whole time I tried to be cheerleader I realized that there was something about this conversation that was bringing me down.  Was it her casual comment that I was in a “happy phase” of unemployment for now and that my world was going to come crushing down soon?

I felt like I was doing a good deed throughout our conversation by focusing on what positive steps we could take to get to the next level.  The rest of the night I was rested and centered.  Yet this morning, after wasting away a couple hours doing absolutely nothing all by myself, I realize that…I’m not getting anywhere.  I started to think she might be right.  That my uncanny pep may just be a phase, and the worst of it is yet to come.

I’m starting to believe that focusing so much on “happiness” can only bring me down.  Today, I just want to be. And today, part of being is being a little down.  Ho hum.

I just need to sit with this today.  Breathe a little…and get myself ready for the next big thing.

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